Perhaps the problem is that we're depicting indians the wrong way. Instead of depicting them as noble warriors and fierce competetors, perhaps we should depict them as they are now: out of work, alcoholic gamblers. It's offensive to the indians to be an honored school mascot, but it wasn't offensive to them when Vinny Pazienza - a Rhode Island boxer of Italian descent - wore an indian headdress and war paint in the ring when boxing at the Foxwoods Casino. Oh, wait. Pazienza was bringing in money for the indians, so that makes it okay.
Well here's The Grape's solution to the indian problem. I say we do exactly what they want: treat the reservations as sovereign nations. This means:
- Indians must choose their citizenship. If they want to be recognized as a sovereign nation, they must renounce their US citizenship. Sorry, chief. No more welfare checks.
- Indians living on a reservation will require a work visa to work in the United States. For their convenience, I'm including a link to the H1b visa process here
- US Citizens wishing to visit an Indian Casino on a reservation will, of course, require a passport to exit and re-enter the United States. They should plan ahead, since there could be long lines at immigration and customs.
- Indian nations are responsible for their own military protection. Congress has never signed a mutual protection treaty and the US is therefore under no obligation to come to their assistance. For most Indians, this shouldn't be much of a problem, but I'd be concerned if I were the Hopi. They're completely surrounded by the Navajo.
- Goods entering or exiting the reservations will, of course, be subject to tarif.
It's time we stopped giving the indians the best of both worlds. They are either Americans or they are not.
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